A person's personality is his mirror - An Ai Image creation


Descriptions

·         Discover 15 essential personality traits for character development based on Buddhism's Mettā Sutta. Learn how to build a superior personality through practical wisdom and mindful living.

 

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A Few Short Definitions of Personality

·         Psychological Perspective: Personality is the relatively stable and enduring pattern of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and conduct that characterizes an individual, making one person different from another.

·         American Psychological Association (APA): "The individual differences in characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that manifest over time and across situations."

·         Gordon Allport (1961): Personality is "the dynamic organization within the individual of those psychophysical systems that determine his unique adjustments to his environment."

·         Simply put: Personality is the combination of a person's character traits, attitudes, emotional patterns, and behavioral styles that defines "who" they are. It is a fundamental concept in psychology that explains an individual's identity and differences from others.

Building Personality

In building a person's character, it is the duty of the adult society to instill a sense of standards, good and bad, and right and wrong in the child's mind from a very young age. This may vary according to different cultures, but the aim of personality development should be to create an individual who respects established norms.

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Building Personality in Buddhism

This is demonstrated in Buddhism through several suttas in the Tripitaka, especially through the Mettā Sutta. Its specialty is that it presents 15 common human factors that can be easily adopted by any society, not merely for belief within a religious context.

Based on the Mettā Sutta, here are 15 essential traits for a well-developed personality:

1.     (Sakko) - Ability, Skill: The first qualification one with a true personality must possess is the ability to do various things. This refers to a person's capacity to face any challenge they encounter. Both subject-specific knowledge and practical skills are crucial factors here.

2.     (Uju cha) Straightforwardness/Virtue: Physical and verbal discipline and the virtue one possesses are extremely important. Such a person is ideal. Because of this ideal character, they are always straightforward in human society. Because they refrain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, slander, harsh speech, and idle chatter, their immense personality is unchallengeable. That is, they are a person of character.

3.     (Suju cha) More Directness: This personality is built after a person is freed from physical and verbal misdeeds.

4.     (Suvaca) Obedience: This characteristic involves listening to others, humbly heeding the advice and instructions of others, accepting and correcting mistakes when pointed out. They do not engage in unnecessary arguments or debates. Buddhism considers this a superior personality trait.

5.     (Mudu) Softness: This refers to the gentleness in a person's conduct based on body and speech. Both word usage and physical behavior make the individual's personality stand out more prominently.

6.     (Anatimāni) Arrogance: A person with a good personality never displays themselves as superior while putting others down. The conceit, pride, haughtiness, and false pride within them damage one's personality.

7.     (Santussaka) Being Happy with What You Have: Being content with what one has is the ultimate satisfaction of self-fulfillment. A person with a good personality does not get drawn into stressful, competitive rivalries fueled by jealousy, hatred, and one-upmanship in our fast-paced human society. Furthermore, it helps to stay away from mental distress and stress in today's complex world.

8.     (Subhara) Easy to Feed: This means living without being a trouble or burden to others or oneself. This should be a well-established trait in groups that depend on others: the elderly, children, and monks. A monk depends on others. The elderly depend on their children. Children depend on their parents. To be someone who is easy to sustain, one must be content with what is given. This is equally important for both lay and monastic communities.

9.     (Appakicca) Unburdened: Appakicca means being free from excessive work burdens, i.e., having minimal duties. If unnecessary tasks are assigned to one in life, work, household life, or social service, they become a busy, restless person. This depletes their physical and mental energy and can sometimes lead to mental stress. Excessive work leads to a lack of rest and the inability to complete any task successfully, becoming a failure. Consequently, their personality also collapses.

10.(Sallahukavutti) Light-heartedness: By being someone with a light lifestyle, one can be freed from overconsumption and the consumption of excessive possessions, living life very lightly. The monastic community's practice of "reflection" (Paccavekkhaṇa) is a constant reminder of this. There are four basic factors for living in human society: food, clothing, shelter, and medicine. Both lay and monastic communities should be mindful of why these are used and what their limits, or minimal use, are. Through this, a person with a good personality and a light lifestyle is born. This falls under the reflective precepts (Paccavekkhaṇa Sīla).

11.(Santindriya) Disciplining the Senses: A person perceives, hears, feels, and knows the world through their eye, ear, nose, tongue, and body. These are called faculties (indriya). The person who obtains objects through these senses enjoys them. In that enjoyment, they become attached or averse. Through sense restraint, one can avoid this attachment, aversion, and irritation. This too is a good personality trait.

12.(Nipako) Wisdom: In relative lay life, this can be called situational wisdom or mindfulness. This is the foundation for all 12 points mentioned above. It is the foundation of moral integrity. Wisdom helps develop all superior qualities like moderation, reflection, knowing the limits of consumption, good and bad, right and wrong, and through them, building a good personality.

13.(Appagabbho) Being a Controlled Person: Having a subdued nature, or being a calm person, is a great personality trait. Being free from turmoil and devoid of rude, unrestrained behaviors commands respect in human society itself.

14.(Kulesu ananugiddho) Not Being Attached to Family/Lineage: Here, the word 'family' (kula) takes a broad meaning. Whether it's one's social clan, social status, one's own children and family, or the value of one's wealth and home, not having a strong attachment and being an independent person is a valuable personality trait.

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What Should Be Done to Fulfill These Qualifications?

There are many social factors that influence your behavior directly and indirectly, primarily the company you keep and the factors that guide you. According to Buddhism, choices and habits must be made to develop your personality.

1.     One should avoid the company of those who are foolish, undisciplined, and inclined towards evil.

2.     One should associate with people who are wise and possess understanding that can add value to one's life.

3.     Due respect should be paid to those who deserve respect and honor.

4.     One should live in a suitable, congenial physical environment.

5.     One's self-discipline and generous, self-sacrificing nature should be well-established.

6.     One should learn various subjects, arts, and sciences.

7.     One's speech should always be truthful, and one should be mindful of one's words.

8.     One should care for one's parents and fulfill one's duties to one's spouse and children to the utmost.

9.     In one's livelihood, such as work, business, farming, etc., one should engage diligently and to the maximum extent, without laziness.

Conclusion

A person's character is reflected in their personality. Your personality is the identity card that shows what kind of person you are. Wealth, possessions, positions, or lineage have no power to build a high personality. An ideal personality is built on the human qualities within you. Whether you are important to society or not is determined by your personality alone. By practicing these valuable principles as taught in Buddhism, you, and any individual, can build a superior personality.

Sources

1.     Mettā Sutta

2.     Mahāmaṅgala Sutta